Should I Go To Therapy?

This is a good question to ask oneself. Therapy is a good option, if you find yourself in a relationship or situation that is continually disappointing or frustrating; if you see that the same pattern is repeating in multiple contexts and leaves you feeling overwhelmed or unheard. It is also a good idea, when you notice your mental health is in a rough spot. Therapy is a good idea when sleep is disrupted, mood is low or frantically high, and worries may be frequent or unending. When people find themselves feeling out of control of substance use or with very divided attention, therapy is a good idea. It is also better to go to therapy before things get much worse. 

What should I expect out of therapy?

Therapy goes through a process for change and requires intentionality and support to be sustainable. The first step is figuring out what the main pain points and problems are. Then we move through determining a strategy. The last stage of therapy is implementation and maintenance. However, throughout this process, therapy will be identifying your strengths and resources while helping you reframe yourself, loved ones or work relationships in a new light. The strategy is important and so is shaping the mindset that will make it easier and more likely for you to be able to implement change. The strategy is only part of the process. The other part is for you to feel heard, seen and develop a useful outlook on your capacity for making a positive change happen.

First session:

We will discuss what led you to reach out for therapy. We will explore the context from multiple perspectives to see where the motivation is for change. I will listen for who you are as a person, what is important to you and also get a clear picture of what is troubling you.

Subsequent sessions:

We will build a mindset, develop a strategy and implement shifts. I will interview you to activate your motivation and utilize support and resources. Sometimes this means bringing in other people from your life and other times the focus will remain with the person who reached out for care.  We will carefully collaborate to determine where to implement change. This can look like developing awareness, internal communication, relaxation skills and conflict resolution or assertiveness skills, or processing difficult experiences with an eye on what you want for your future. We will implement these changes in a sustainable way utilizing your relationships and creating support to build a realistic process for change. This is often empowering and allows people to learn tools for making any change happen. Many people find that in this process they can apply skills and tackle many other important things in their life - at the right time.  

Therapy is over:

When you have seen results in the area we initially outlined, therapy is complete. Sometimes people come back for occasional “tune ups” or decide to work on another problem. However, when we carefully work on one thing, the learning is tremendous and oftentimes creates enough of a shift that other problems either don't matter or solutions become achievable by applying the skills developed in therapy. Everyone has ups and downs, but the focus is to help empower you to take the lead and build confidence for change. Often this includes developing awareness and language for identifying problems, fostering productive and adaptive communication, slowing down, and fostering a calm and steady approach to keep oneself focused and balanced.

Why should I bother with therapy: it is them and not me!

Recently Harvard conducted an 80-year study. The research of Dr. Waldinger, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, outlined that nurturing relationships are the transdiagnostic and multicultural indicator for a longer and more satisfying life. Here is a link to an article with more information. Relationships make us happy — and healthy — Harvard Gazette. The model I practice is transdiagnostic and interactionally focused.  I look at patterns that go far beyond a diagnosis. I help people look at their relationships and communication. I help people look at the patterns that are expressed and held internally and also show up in relationships with others. We look at these elements during our strategy- building sessions. This is a person-centered approach, with a systemic view on how people interact with the worlds around them and is adapted to the personal values, cultural perspectives and available resources of each person or unit who shows up for therapy.

Why is relationally-oriented therapy AMAZING?

When we look at ourselves relationally, we get to the heart of the matter much faster. Therapy tends to be briefer when we start here. We exist in a relationship with ourselves and with others. We all have internal systems of messages, beliefs, preferences, emotions, thoughts, behaviors and roles. We also exist in the context of others. The way we work through these things can be simplified when we look at what is happening that is problematic, what we prefer and what we have tried in order to achieve a change. It is also helpful to see where we are okay with life staying the same or where we enjoy it or benefit from something staying the same.

Oftentimes people mistake their unhappiness with a relationship for the idea that everyone involved needs to change and come to therapy. However, therapy with me will debunk this myth. If you are the one who is interested most in change; when you decide to show up differently - your entire system and your relationships will shift. It doesn't have to take years - oftentimes it takes figuring out how to show up in a new way. This process is not linear and impacts your confidence as well as the system you interact with externally. In therapy, we work to find an entry point to change and watch the change unfold and the system shift accordingly. Here is more about the interactional model I practice https://www.brieftherapycenter.org/our-model/. 

If you are curious, schedule a free consultation. While I don't like to make promises, it is almost impossible not to see some benefit when we get clear on what you want and work through the obstacles in front of you or a loved one. Let's get a positive cycle rolling and move out of the vicious cycles.